Self-esteem is a state of pleasure and affection for yourself and that increases with actions that strengthen your physical, psychological and spiritual growth. You have to love yourself first! When we act to expand self-love, we begin to embrace our weaknesses as well as our strengths. It is a work of vulnerability and surrender. We are no longer too hard on ourselves and we understand that we are all here for a greater purpose, which is to learn and evolve every day as human beings.
There Are Many Ways to Increase Self-esteem
Meditation, yoga, exercises, writing a diary… Basically, everything that deepens the connection with your heart, with your feelings and desires. I like to say that self-love is like a muscle that we must exercise often for it to develop and reach its maximum potential.
Everyone Desires a Healthy Self-esteem But Cultivating it Can be Surprisingly Difficult We’ll explain why – and describe smart ways to build and strengthen self-esteem.
Love yourself and you will see that everything changes!
When your self-esteem is higher, you not only feel better about yourself, you are also more resilient. However, as wonderful as it is to have high self-esteem, it turns out that improving it is not an easy task. Despite the endless variety of articles, programs, and products that promise to improve your self-esteem, the reality is that many of them don’t work and some are likely to make you feel worse.
1- Use positive affirmations correctly
The positive statements popularized by people like Louise L. Hay are extremely enriching, but they have a problem – they tend to make people with low self-esteem feel worse about themselves.
Because when our self-esteem is low, these statements are simply very contrary to our existing beliefs. Ironically, positive statements work for a subset of people – those whose self-esteem is already high.
In order for affirmations to work when your self-esteem is low, you have to adjust them to be in fact a powerful support and motivation tool.
For example, change “I am a great success!” or “I have power, confidence and the ability to achieve all my goals” for “I will persevere until I succeed!”
Everything you need you already have. You are already complete, you are whole, a total person, not an apprentice on the way somewhere else. Wayne Walter Dyer
2 – Identify your skills and develop them
Self-esteem is built by identifying real capabilities and achievements in several important areas of your life. If you pride yourself on being a good cook, make more dinners. If you are a good runner, sign up for races and train. In short, discover your main skills and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.
Developing Healthier Emotional Habits
3 – Learn to accept compliments
One of the most difficult aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we feel bad about ourselves, we tend to be more resistant to praise – especially when we need it most. So set a goal to tolerate compliments when you receive them, even if they make you uncomfortable (and they will). The best way to avoid reflexive reactions to praise, such as disgust, is to prepare simple responses and train yourself to use them automatically whenever you receive good feedback (for example, “Thank you” or “How nice of you”). Over time, the impulse to deny or reject praise will fade – which is also a good indication that your self-esteem is getting stronger.
4 – Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
Unfortunately, when our self-esteem is low, we are likely to harm it further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to increase self-esteem, we need to replace self-criticism (which is almost always totally useless, even if it seems convincing) with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical internal monologue appears, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if he or she was in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate towards friends than towards ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself. Doing so will avoid further damaging your self-esteem with critical thoughts and, instead, will help to develop it.
Another method is to reject the thought. Whenever the internal critic appears, simply say, I reject this thought. And don’t think about it anymore. If the internal talk starts again repeat the process. This is a process used to program the subconscious mind, and with time and practice to tame the monkey mind.
5 – Affirm your true value
The following exercise is to help you revive your self-esteem after suffering a disappointment:
Make a list of qualities that you have that are meaningful in a specific context. For example, if you have been rejected by someone you care about, write a list of the qualities that make you a good partner in a relationship (for example, being loyal or emotionally available);
If you didn’t get a promotion at work, write a list of the qualities that make you a valuable employee (for example, have a strong work ethic or am responsible). Then choose one of the items on your list and write a short essay (one to two paragraphs) on why quality is valuable and will likely be appreciated by others in the future. Exercise every day for a week or whenever you need to boost your self-esteem.
Improving self-esteem requires some work, as it involves the development and maintenance of healthier emotional habits, but doing it and, especially, doing it correctly, will provide a great emotional and psychological return on your best investment, yourself.
Self-Love Bonus Ritual
As soon as you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror, still with little crusty eyes, simply look deep in your eyes and say: I LOVE YOU! Do it every day…
Daily rituals are a good way to show yourself self-love, starting first thing in the morning with a good skincare routine. You can try a self-massage routine. Your skin is your biggest organ and everything you apply to your skin will be absorbed very quickly and circulate through your body. That is why clean beauty is so important. You can eat organic and healthy foods, and control those nasty thoughts and emotions, but if you are not careful with cosmetics or the oils you use for self-massage, you are making a big mistake.
Choose products with natural ingredients and cruelty-free. Your skin will be nourished from the inside out and you know you are not applying any products with harmful ingredients. Use your skincare routine for example, as a ritual to increase love for yourself, for your life and for the people around you. Because you have to love yourself first to love the other. Even if you don’t practice anything else the act of giving love to your skin will help you achieve profound changes.